Little Do You Know
by CPDSVU
Summary: A one shot based off of two Upstead moments really from 7x16. When Hailey and Jay finish their talk, he asks her an innocent question. Too bad it causes Hailey's rose-colored outlook to deepen. But, they're both forced to think about the truth behind the lies they told that day: Jay with his cover, and Hailey with the acceptance of what is - la vie en rose.


**A/N: ****As promised, my one-shot based off of 7x16's roses scene. Hope you guys like it! :) **

* * *

"So, how about your mom? Where'd she go?" Jay innocently asked his partner who sat across from him at the bar.

"Nowhere. She's still with my dad." Hailey replied, taking a long sip of her drink. She could feel Jay's eyes on her still, and she didn't know what else there was to say. _It was what it was_.

She had accepted that a long time ago. Just like she accepted the fact that her dad wasn't all bad, all the time. Her mom wasn't either, as all she ever did was try to protect Hailey and her brothers. She had to remind herself of that when she was in high school, when she'd get mad at her mom, or when she was studying for the detective's exam, and she was reminded of how domestic violence victims often ended up staying trapped in the same cycle because they had become used to it. Accustomed. Not Hailey. At least not until her idiot of an ex grabbed her arm one night after a late night out. He was drunk as usual, but he'd never gotten physical with her before.

She was able to get him to let go of her, but she couldn't shake that uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. That gnawed at her constantly. So, she finally got the courage to leave him, even though she thought she could've loved him. But she knew that wasn't love. She was reminded of her mother, and look how that turned out. Maybe that's part of the reason why she was so closed off: not just fear of being emotionally hurt, but physically. She knew it wasn't a 1 out of every 1 situation, but it was a tragic epidemic of sorts. She knew the stats, she wasn't naive. At least not anymore.

She was however, apparently zoned out, because Jay had to wave his hand right in front of her face to get her attention. "Earth to Hailey..."

"What?" She asked, genuinely confused as to where they were in their conversation. "Sorry," she apologized, looking down at her drink. The amber liquid had settled in the very bottom of her glass. She wished her heart could settle like that. It, however, was busy beating so fast she felt like it was supposed to leap from her chest. She didn't know exactly why, but she had a few theories, one of which was staring at her with _that_ look in his eyes.

"Where'd you go?" He asked her, and she knew he didn't mean it literally. He always knew when she wasn't exactly "on." And this was, unfortunately, one of those times.

"I'm here," she assured him. "Still here."

She saw the corner of his lip curl upward, just enough to form his famous half smile. Couple that with his soft green eyes, and she felt her resolve melt away.

But she also felt her cheeks heat up, and her stomach began doing that ridiculous flip-flop motion that annoyed the hell out of her. She felt a little nervous, but the giddy kind, which almost made it worse, as she knew those feelings from a couple months ago were still trying to work their way out of her system. Preferably from her lips to Jay's ears, but she wasn't ready for that...at least not yet. And certainly not now, of all times.

So, she did what she knew best: cut it off, and buried her feelings. She swallowed, as if the physical sensation would push her emotional ones down further. She downed the rest of her drink quickly, ignoring the uptick in Jay's brow.

"Hailey."

The way he said her name never got old to her; only because he never said it the same way twice. She caught his eyes once again and attempted to hold his gaze this time.

"I'm okay, Jay." She echoed her words from just a month earlier, albeit under much different circumstances. "Really," she added gently, nodding at him. She decided it was probably best for them to part here, as she felt like she'd do something stupid if they didn't.

"Thank you," she blurted out awkwardly as she zipped up her jacket and stood up from her seat.

When most people would ask "for what?"; Jay simply said: "You're welcome" as he to stood up from his chair.

They had driven separately, but they walked out together. They hadn't said anything more past the earlier grateful exchange, but somehow, that worked for them. It wasn't until Hailey got to her car that she heard Jay call her name.

"Hey Hailey…"

"Yeah?" She was too short to see him from over the roof of her car, so she came around to where his truck was. When she didn't see him on the driver's side, she was thrown off. "Uh, Jay?"

He popped his head up from the passenger side, scaring her a little bit. "What're you doing?" She asked.

"Nevermind, I mean, nothing," he said quickly, brushing his hand across the passenger seat again.

She looked at him, her interest piqued. "What's up?"

He sighed, looking at her like he was embarrassed. "I just didn't know what the heck happened to those roses is all. It's like the weirdest thing, they've been there all damn day, right? I mean, you were with me; you saw them."

"I was," she started, pausing for a second. _Think before you speak, Hailey. _"Remember, we had to take all our surveillance equipment back upstairs...I bet you just left them up there."

"If I did, I'm a moron. Aren't they supposed to go in a vase with water or something?" He asked, running a hand over the back of his neck.

"That they are," she agreed. "Look, since you're on the other side of the 21st, it's closer for me to go back and make sure your precious roses are okay. I'll text you when I find them."

He gave her a smile, a silent thank you for her kindness. She bit the inside of her lower lip, nodding before she waved him off.

* * *

_"Who you getting flowers for?"_

_"My uh, my girlfriend." _

Jay replayed the earlier conversation with Shane over in his head for the 10th time today, he was sure of it. He could've said anyone else, and it still would've sold the lie, but instead girlfriend came tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop it. Course, he'd be lying if he said a flash of blonde hair with a bright smile didn't cross his mind as he said the word.

He called his mistake a success when he got to see the aforementioned smile as he brought the roses to his truck. _All for show_, he reminded himself then, same as he was reminding himself now as he drove home. He didn't know which reason was the one for why he cared so much about the damn flowers. He couldn't tell if it was because he wanted to have them, or if he wanted _her_ to have them, or, if he simply wanted to get rid of them altogether, as the roses were what Shane would give to Michelle whenever he messed up.

_Quit_, his mind chided. _You're not him; and Hailey's certainly not Michelle_. He regretfully admitted that he did see a little bit of Hailey, at least as a kid, in Michelle's face tonight though. That's why he stopped beating the ever-living crap out of Shane. _See_, _you're not him_.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he finally made it back to his apartment. He flipped his phone off airplane mode so he could make sure he saw her text; he had flipped it on so that it wouldn't interrupt their conversation earlier. He got out of his truck and decided to busy himself with getting changed out of his work clothes and into more comfortable attire to sleep in. He had just pulled on a different shirt with his sweats when he heard the tell-tale chime of his phone ringtone.

_See, safe and sound. _

Hailey had texted that message, along with a photo of the roses, which were, as she promised, in a vase, sitting perfectly on a table. He assumed it was in the breakroom or something, but he couldn't really tell as the lights weren't all that bright thanks to the midnight sky outside. Not that it mattered...all that mattered was that the roses were okay. He told himself it was because he'd actually had to pay the $30 freaking dollars for the bouquet. But no matter how many times he told himself that, his eyes still lingered on the text from her, reminding him ever so subtly of the real reason why he cared so damn much.

_Put a space in there and it works_, he reasoned, chuckling to himself as he tried to differentiate girlfriend from girl friend. He scoffed, deciding to turn off his phone - and his brain - for some much-needed sleep. He'd go to work and see the flowers in the morning. His restless thoughts could wait until then.

* * *

"So, who are _those_ from?" Vanessa asked Hailey as she breezed past the table in their living room.

"Hm?" Hailey asked, looking up from her phone.

"I'm assuming it's the same person that's making you smile from ear to ear on your phone, but hey, what do I know?" She winked, to which Hailey rolled her eyes.

She figured she should probably take the roses back to her own room; but she had brought them out to her living room, as the walls were plain enough that Jay wouldn't have been able to tell for sure where the photo was taken. _Wow, I have really lost my mind, haven't I?_ She shook her head as she stood up with the vase in hand.

"So?" Vanessa jokingly stopped in her the hall. "You gonna tell me or what?"

"No one special."

_Lie #1_. _No, wait_, her brain reminded her. _That was really lie #2. Lie #1 was that text message. That stupid goddamn text message. That and the fact that she had taken said flowers from the pile of stuff they had brought upstairs that day._

"Uh huh. So, what? You've got a secret admirer or something?" Vanessa eyed her suspiciously but cracked a smile just the same.

"Sure," Hailey mused, slipping past her roommate to grab her phone, which she had left on the table in all her haste to get the flowers hidden.

_Lie #3_. _Although, it was half true. They were definitely a secret. Just not for her to figure out_.

She caught herself smiling at the reply to her text:

_Thanks, Hailey. I appreciate it_.

_Yeah_, she thought, _so did she._ Even if "a rose is a rose is a rose"…she remembered fondly the line from one of her favorite poems by Gertrude Stein. It meant: it is what it is. She couldn't have said it better – or more realistically - herself.


End file.
